Super sweet trailer-slash-season recap is coming soon. I think you guys will enjoy getting a brief tour of the storylines of the season so far. You might even pick up on some things that you missed.

I’ve just finished the detailed outline of part three of the Season Finale and now I’m moving into the writing stage. Shouldn’t be too much of a task, since every other line on the pages say “they shoot at each other”, “they have a bad-ass gun battle” or something of that ilk. I imagine it’s much like the script of Episode III of Star Wars. Only with heart.

As promised, this week we bring you the next installment of our beloved character bios. Today, we focus on none other than the lovable Westheimer.

Name: Westheimer
Age: 50
Team: Counter-Terrorists
Position: Team Leader and Life Coach

Westheimer’s first taste of the warming embrace of law enforcement wasn’t from the same side that we know him from today. With the typical identity crisis you would normally associate with a pre-teen American-born boy with a whore of a mother growing up on the streets of Italy, Westheimer wandered the neighborhoods in search of a release for his pent-up aggression towards the rest of the world. He was emo before there was emo. How did he get there?

Born to a woman with loose morals and little sense, Westheimer was moved around a lot as a young boy. His father abandoning them when he was just a toddler, he learned how to take care of himself, and often took his anger out on other boys at school. Bounced out of day cares and pre-schools alike, his mother was left with few options as she lost job after job. One day, she received a call from a distant relative informing her that the aunt that had raised her was dying. Westheimer’s mother spent the last of her savings to move them and their minimal belongings to Europe by boat.

By the time he was in his pre-teen years, Westheimer was pretty much a delinquent. A vagabond. A vagrant. And whatever other word you want to use to describe a snot-nosed punk. On one particular fateful day, Westheimer had his first brush with the law.

Feeling the pangs of hunger after his mother had failed yet again to put food on the table despite the open-door policy on her bedroom, Westheimer nervously approached the market vendors on the streets of Italy. Reaching out his small sweaty palms, he started to grab pieces of fruit, vegetables, bread, whatever he could take. Suddenly, a strong hand clasped his shoulder from behind and turned him around to come face-to-face with a middle-aged police officer by the name of Adamo Russo. The man who changed Westheimer’s life.

Sergeant Russo immediately took Westheimer under his wing, acting as kind of a surrogate father to him. Russo taught the boy everything he needed to know about being a young man, from shaving to shotgunning beer to re-assembling an assault rifle in under five seconds. It was from the strapping Sergeant that Westheimer gathered his sense of honor, duty and leadership. The most memorable conversation of his life came when he and Russo smoked cigars together on the officer’s balcony. “Westheimer,” Russo grunted. “The most important thing a man can do in his life- is leave his impression on the life of another. Never forget that”. Westheimer never did.

Westheimer was transformed from a juvenile statistic into an active part of his community. He volunteered at orphanages, soup kitchens and the like. He was also extremely involved in his English-speaking school, becoming the classic over-achiever. Or as some would call it, a poindexter. By the time he was finishing high school, Westheimer was the captain of several extra-curricular teams, including the school tug-of-war team as well as the glee club. He was a mean tenor.

Through it all, Westheimer desired to become a member of the law enforcement brigade, to follow in Russo’s footsteps. During a summer internship, Westheimer was witness to a tragic event that would alter the course of his life forever. On a routine patrol with Russo as his guide, Westheimer pulled over a couple of suspicious looking characters. Unfortunately for him, they were small-time terrorists smuggling weapons over the border. Russo was shot and killed in the ensuing altercation, leaving Westheimer fatherless yet again. It was in the months after that Westheimer dedicated his life to counter-terrorism.

Naturally, the determined young man flew through the ranks of counter-terrorism training once he was back in America. With a discipline that few of his commanding officers had witnessed, Westheimer was dedicated to ruthlessly beating out his classmates in every pursuit, whether in the classroom, obstacle course or shooting range. Not surprisingly, Westheimer finished with top honors and soon began an illustrious and decorated career as a counter-terrorist.

Westheimer was married to his job on the force. He spent all of his energy day and night hunting down criminals and pursuing terrorism wherever it was hiding. However, he still felt empty inside. Having no wife to speak of or family to be in contact with, Westheimer began to feel a yearning. He remembered the lesson that Russo taught him about leaving an impression on the life of another person. Thus, Westheimer requested a rookie partner, someone that he could teach and mold into a great sidekick and teammate.

Jake Hudson was Westheimer’s first and only rookie trainee. After eight months on the job, Jake fell into a hacks addiction in order to improve his aiming skills, feeling they never matched up to Westheimer’s strict standards. Eventually, Jake was kicked out of the force and Westheimer was relieved of his post as instructor. Feeling embarrassed and ashamed, he contemplated retirement.

What could he do to prove that he hadn’t wasted his life or his efforts? What could he do to make the people proud that sacrificed great things for him to get where he had gotten to? As he pondered all of these questions, Westheimer stumbled across a poster that was a shining beacon of hope. It was an advertisement for The Leet World. Yes. He could prove that he was a good leader. He could prove that he was a good man after all.

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